21st December to 24th December – Run-up to Chrimbo!

Here it is Merry Christmas, everybody’s having fun!

Since the last update we have been out for a few beers to wish people all the best for Chrimbo before we set off on the great adventure to the Bay of Islands.

Day 1 – The Journey

The trip north was a long one.  The brucks of 500km.  Through some peculiar fate all of the people expected actually made it!  Sophie somehow managed to get on a plane without breaking it and Sara and Bart managed to get their flights after trains and whatnot were cancelled due to snow.  The point I am getting to is that they survived the journey and made it to NZ.  Louise headed up with Aidan and collected Sophie from Auckland en-route.  We headed a couple of days later and picked up Sara and Bart from the airport.  The journey was fairly uneventful apart from an arsehole on the motorway leaving Auckland who decided that clipping a car and possibly having a major crash would be better than just following the Highway Code and letting that person into the lane.  I have your number plate Mr Arsehole, consider yourself reported.  Anyway.  That is a story for another day.

Upon reaching the Bay of Islands we soon heard the news that Sophie and Aidan had been fishing.  Unfortunately, Sophie seemed to think that you had to spear fish rather than use the modern day method of hook and line.  Spearing fish with a rod doesn’t really work too well.  This resulted in the rod going overboard and finding a place to rest on the bottom of the seabed.  Aidan was rather displeased.  Not only because this brought an end to the fishing for the day but also because the rod was something of a family heirloom and belonged to his Great Grandfather at one point.

Attempts to retrieve the rod proved fruitless and the decision was taken to leave it and try again the following day.

That night we had a barbecue at Nan & Grandpa’s where Sophie sat incredibly upset due to the earlier events and emitted no feelings bar sorrow and sadness.

(Picture: Sophie – Incredibly upset)

Day 2 – Christmas Eve

Our second day in Russell brought with it some good news.  Tania, Sophie, Aidan and Wade set off down to the harbour early in the morning while the tide was low to see if they could retrieve the fishing rod.  Wade managed to snag it with a grappling hook and lift it from the deep, dark murkiness of the ocean floor.  Fearing that it would slip, Tania launched herself into the sea and grabbed the presumed missing rod.  She then realised that she had to swim around to the other side of the Wharf before she could get out of the sea.  On doing this she managed to slice her hands and feet open on the mussels attached to the bottom steps.  So off she went to the doctor’s for a Tetanus jab and a clean up.

Aidan, delighted that he had a rod again, set off fishing.

(Picture: Aidan with Mr Hull, don’t know where Emu was)

(Picture: The fish here swim upside down due to the centrifugal gravitational pull in the Southern Hemisphere)

The highlight of the days fishing came when Aidan landed a 33cm Kawai.

(Picture: It was this size)

Oh did I mention that we met Santa Claus?  Several times.  This is officially the most surreal Christmas I have ever had.  When you are standing by the waterfront in shorts and a t-shirt, the last thing you expect to meet is Santa Claus.

(Picture: Sophie, Santa and his little helper)

Another thing that you must do every Christmas Eve is go hat shopping.  Very Christmassy.  Although it does stop the searing heat from burning through the mass of thick hair on my bonce.

(Picture: Sophie hat shopping)

(Picture: Model picture from hat shop)

After that we headed up Maiki Hill to the Flagstaff.  This hill overlooks Russell and the surrounding area and offers some fantastic views of the harbour. 

(Picture: View from Moiki Hill)

It is also steeped in history.  After the Waitangi Treaty the Flagstaff was erected only to be chopped down by Māori four times in protest against the British Authorities and the way they were running things.  This led to war in 1845 and it was another 13 years before the flagpole was erected again.  A chain now runs around the flagpole to make sure that absolutely no one has any similar intentions ever again.

(Picture: Ahem…)

(Picture: Another view from the hill)

On this trip to the Bay of Islands, unlike other trips I have documented, I was lucky enough to have onboard GPS.  I think the technology still has some way to go before it can be considered reliable though.  It continually relayed me conflicting reports as to which direction to take.  It even seemed to get its left and rights mixed up.

(Picture: Global Positioning System somewhat flawed)

Seeing as the GPS had failed to do its duty, I decided to head to the pub.  At least I could find that without tracking devices.  Lo and behold, who should I see there but none other than Santa Claus.

(Picture: Another Santa Claus)

Then it was back to the beach for a little while before the street party started in the afternoon.

(Picture: Russell’s pebbly beach)

The street party was quite interesting for me.  I managed to pull a bird!  She seemed to be drawn to me by my lovely chin whiskers and brightly coloured plumage.

(Picture: Coco and Me up a tree, T W E E T I N G, first came love then came shi….)

Yes.  You read correctly.  As per usual, my life is never very straight-forward.  After the initial honeymoon period then Coco crapped all down my front.  Literally.

This didn’t seem to particularly perturb any of the revellers at the street party however.

(Archive Photo: The failed Stena-GlassLift)

(Picture:  Look, there’s Annette, no it’s Tania, wait…Rod is that you???)

Then as the sun went down it was time to head back up to Nan & Grandpa’s for the Chrimbo Dinner.

(Picture: Sunset at Russell Wharf)

(Picture: Sara & Bart – 1, 2, 3, Awwwww!)

(Picture:  Crikey, look at the mussels on that!)

(Picture: Flaming Pud Batman)

So, that was Christmas Eve.  Hopefully this little update will keep you happy until I manage to get another one put together…

COMING SOON – Christmas Day in the Bush and other peculiarities.  Stay tuned….

22nd November to 20th December– Chrimbo!!

Hello and merry chrimbo to you and yours.  Nan is back in Tauranga and made it clear that I haven’t updated the blog since the 22nd November!

I had great plans to give you a “6 months in” post.  However, it is now nearly 7 months.  The 26th of November was the six month anniversary.   Boxing day will be the 7 month anniversary.

6 Month Moan

As a moaning old git, I thought I would share some of the things that have riled me slightly since getting here.  However, I have found it difficult to find too much to complain about.

1. Driving.  Time to ditch the stupid turning right rule.  It might have worked with horse & carriage but it certainly doesn’t anymore.  Fog lights are also a problem.  It may be down to the fact that I haven’t actually seen any fog here yet.  People perhaps don’t realise what fog lights are actually for.
2. Pickled Eggs.  They simply do not exist here.
3. Vinegar.  Fish & Chip shops do not know that vinegar exists.  You get salt on the chips whether you want it or not but if you want vinegar then you will need to wait until you get home.
4. Chips.  Chips are crisps.  Or rather crisps are chips…or something.  Chips are known as “hot chips” and crisps are known as “chips”.
5. Christmas isn’t Christmas.  When you walk into a shop and you see a stand with christmas decorations next to a stand of sunglasses it can cause the brain to sit back and go WTF!  I managed to get sun burnt again yesterday, far too warm to wear the santa hat.  Hardly christmassy is it?

I am sure that a few more niggly points will surface after I have posted this but in the grand scale of things I can hardly complain.  When in Rome and all that.

Veggies

Meanwhile Aidan’s veggies seem to be coming along.  Da supermarket totties produced good shaws but nae totties!  Going to replant with some seed and see how it goes.

We had some of the beans and peas fae the garden in wir casserole tonight that Nan slaved over.

(Picture: Some of Aidan’s radishes)

The mint on the other hand has been reduced to a few measly stalks.  We were unsure what had been chewing at it until we ventured out one night to find this flying beastie having a feed.

(Picture: Flying beastie)

On Saturday night I went over to Phil’s to help him celebrate his birthday.  This involved consuming copious amounts of cocktails while staying upright.  Good fun.

Santa Parade

On Sunday the 6th of December we ventured over to the Mount to watch the Santa Parade.  Several of my work colleagues were involved in this which was nice to see.

(Picture: As if being 10-foot-tall isn’t enough to draw attention to yourself!)

(Picture: Little old lady keys police car)

(Picture: Man beats child for hiding in drum)

(Picture: 101 reasons not to ignore the ‘Wet Cement’ sign)

(Picture: Hairy tottie parade)

  (Picture: Man discovers car-pooling with the wife isn’t so bad after all)

(Picture: Avoid tail-gating – Affix a child to the bumper)

(Picture: Dat Robertson’s git everywhaur!)

  (Picture: A&R Earthmovers – Taking the R’s out of Andrex)

(Picture: Man having a wheely good time) (Picture:  The Trustpower float)

After all that, we set off home for a barbecue and a few beers.

(Picture:  Did anybody mention we pay for water here?)

After Archie and the wife visiting we realised that we still hadn’t got a guest book organised.  They will have an honorary entry as our first overseas visitors now that we have got one sorted.

(Picture: Da guestbook)

Wark Doo

On Friday the 11th December we got all rigged up for the work doo.  On arrival we were greeted by a red carpet leading into a lavish spread.  Unfortunately I didn’t have my camera with me and Tania’s had run out of juice so I have stolen all the following pics from Facebook.

(Picture: Stolen from Facebook)

I would hate to think of the cost of this evening.  The venue was Bay Park Stadium, the MC was this bloke of the telly, the band were hired in from Auckland, then they threw a hypnotist into the works as well.

(Picture: It’s a Kind of Magic)

Mix all that in with free grub and a free bar all night and the end result is some very merry punters.

(Picture: Da Menu)

 (Picture: Da Boys!)

(Picture: Peculiar bunch)

A good night had by all and I think I even managed to remain fairly sensible.

Sunday barbecues & beer

On the Sunday we headed into town to try and get some shopping done.  Aidan and Poihipi insisted on riding the train at Memorial Park.

(Picture: Aidan & Poihipi training)

After that we headed home and fired up the barbecue.  Tania decided to see what would happen if we fed the kids some hot curry sauce stuff.  They seemed to like it.

(Picture: Aidan enjoying the curry sauce)

  (Picture: Tania soaking up the rays)

Last week of work

A huge sigh of relief came from everybody this week.  It was the last week of work, 3 weeks off!  As if the work doo wasn’t good enough they also presented everybody with a big chunk of ham for chrimbo.

(Picture: Muckle chunk o’ ham)

On the last day of work our office had a secret santa thing organised as well as an awards ceremony.  Secret Santa got me a hat, a bar of Bailey’s chocolate and a beer chiller.  I’m guessing they know what I am like now.  The awards ceremony resulted in me getting presented with “The ‘Best Accent’ Award”, apparently because none of them can understand me.  The last day of work also meant that we headed to Imbibe for a good few beers before making our way to Steve & Rhondas for yet another barbecue.  The food was good, the beer was good, the head wasn’t so good the next day.  I had to pick up the car from work so took Aidan in to see the fishies in the pond and let him see where I spend my days.  He thought it was pretty cool.

Yesterday saw Nan arriving and managing to make her way to the top of the stairs unaided.  This was partly because a couple of friends were around scooping lots of beer so we were quite unaware of her arrival.  I should perhaps think about getting an intercom at the bottom of the stairs for the day that she can’t make it….either that or a mattress.

Test for Uncle Ronnie

Here’s a little test to see if Uncle R can recall this beastie!

(Picture: It has flown a long way)

Chrimbo-time

Next week will see us heading up to the Bay of Islands for Chrimbo and New Year, I should hopefully have some new piccies to show you then. 

Tania’s sisters are making the journey over from Brussels if they can manage to get the flights from Heathrow.  Trains and planes have been getting cancelled due to the snow they have been having.  I am unsure as to how I am going to cope with so many of the same family congregated in one place.  I can liken it to being shot in the head.  One shot and you might survive if you are lucky.  Three shots and their is very little chance of survival.  Bart has assured me that he will be getting drunk to try and survive the escapade.  I always did think he was a very sensible man.  The only flaw with this is that instead of seeing 3 sisters we could end up seeing 6!!! 

In case I don’t get the blog updated before the 25th (quite likely) and/or I don’t get to speak to as many of you as hoped then I would like to wish you all…

A very Merry Christmas

and a

Happy New Year!

Hiv a beer fur me, because I will most certainly be hivvin’ a beer fur you!

Aa da best!

27th October to 21st November – VIP visit

Well here we are.  Update time again.  What shall we start with?  The weather, that’s always a good conversation starter.

According to the News, “New Zealanders have just shivered through the coldest October in more than 25 years”.  Well that was news to me.

We seem to have had a high of 22.5C……brrrrrr.  The coldest October in over 25 years and I got sunburnt!  As you may already know, snakes are not allowed in New Zealand.  This is because there aren’t any and they are considered too dangerous to the wildlife here.  I am slightly worried that the authorities might deport me if I shed any more skin!

Pisces

Aidan wandered into a pet shop ‘for a look’ recently.  He left with a tropical fish tank and a pile of fishies.

(Picture: Fishies)

He now has a selection of aquatic critters including Samurai Fighter, Clown Loach, Neon Tetras, Black Neon Tetras, Tiger somethings and a suckerfish.

Edit –> Today.  When I got home.  Headed to the toilet facilities and noticed an object in the passageway.  First glance told me it was a leaf or some other similar object that should be ignored until the bladder emptying process had taken place.  Once I had finished said bladder emptying process I took another look at the leaf.  It wasn’t a leaf at all.  It was Aidan’s Samurai Fighter making a break for it.  I scooped it up and headed for the tank.  After the mini-submerge-session I watched it swim for a little while before I actually calculated the distance that it had travelled.  How does a fish (maybe 4cm long) make its way from a bedroom, half way along a hall without dying?  This poor fish must have travelled at least  8ft from its original position.  Aidan has now been instructed to make sure that the lid is on the tank before he heads to school.

Who let the dogs out? WOF WOF WOF

The beast required its WOF recently.  For those in the know, this is the Warranty Of Fitness.  For those not in the know, this is the equivalent of the MOT out here.

I hurled the beast into the WOF testing station at VTNZ passing subtle comments to the tester. “Look at the underbody seal on that chunk of metal”, “She’s had a good few pit inspections in her time”,  “Only one careful lady driver….scrap that….who has ever met a careful lady driver???”.

The nurturing comments failed to appeal and he failed it.  Perished brake pipes and buggered front tyres.  A trip to the garage was required.  Turned out that two garages were required bringing the total to 400-odd bucks.  Pretty much a quarter of what I paid for the car.

Once the required remedial work had been undertaken, I returned to VTNZ with a cheesy grin and a newly medicated car.  The good thing is that they only charge you once.  If you fail, you drive your non-roadworthy car away and then return when you think it will be OK.  You do not get charged again for a retest.  Lovely place.

The beast is now Woffified.  A clean bill of health.  A healthy beast.

Remember remember da 5th o’ November

Fireworks, house of lords.  Funny how after 404 years we still celebrate an attempt to do away with any aristocracy and/or politicians of the time.  Has much changed? 

The strangest thing about this is that the Guy Fawkes gunpowder plot was an attempt to kill King James the First of England.  This just happens to be a relation of mine.  The whole damn world is celebrating an attempt to pop off one of my ancestors.  Not because they understand the history but because they like the sparkly fireworks.  Luckily enough so do I so we shall not linger over the boring history aspect.

I had great plans to trek to the top of the Mount for the fireworks to get some pretty piccies.  Unfortunately I had too much beer and driving to the Mount was not an option.  Luckily for me though, every man and his dog had fireworks around here.  After 3 or 4 nights worth of continual fireworks I am actually quite depressed that I didn’t get some more decent piccies.

(Picture: Fireworks)

(Picture: Mair fireworks)

Aidan eventually rolled in about 10.30pm with some firecracker things he had acquired from somewhere.

(Picture: Firecrackery things with an apparition of Aidan)

For the record King James the First was my 1st cousin, 13 times removed.  Probably best not to admit to that…

100-t6 Birthday & Barbecues

The weekend of 07/11 brought with it a birthday celebration.  Tania’s granny reached the prime age of 94, Nan came down and Wade came up for the occasion.  They all went to Mills Reef Winery for a meal to celebrate.

On the Saturday we had a barbecue and Stu and Heather came over to sample the sausages, steaks and pork delights.

(Picture: Yum)

Softball

For those that have been asking Softball is a bit like baseball but with under-arm throws rather than over-arm throws.  Aidan has softball practise every Saturday morning from 0830 to 11ish.  Last Saturday he said he didn’t want to go because he didn’t think he would get a game.  After a reassurance from Midder that he isn’t going to get a game unless he turns up for it, he returned quite happy.

(Picture: Softball Player of the Day)

Shetland Society

That Saturday night we were invited along to the Shetland Society Christmas Dinner.  An enjoyable night was had by all.  Met a woman who emigrated out here in the 60’s and went to school with Granny Meg.  Aidan got a bid fed up because he was the only kid there. Usually there would be other kids.

Water da matter?

You may recall a post of mine from a while back that involved experimenting with taking photos of water droplets.  I stumbled across this video on Youtube that explains the whole process rather well.  Who would have known that a water droplet actually diminishes in size before merging with the larger body of water.  Weird old world innit?

 

Our first Shetlanders visit

Yes indeedy.  Our first holidaying visitors came for a visit.  I have only just now realised that I neglected to welcome them as our first overseas visitors.  Even worse, we didn’t even get a visitors book organised for them to sign.

I am not even sure if we can class them as our first Shetlanders as they are technically Glaswegian Shetlanders.  With an aussie side.  Anyways, they have been accepted as Shetlanders and as such I will class them so for the rest of the post.

Archie and Sandra came along to visit as part of their 3-month tour of strange places.  It was helluva good to, ‘See a kent face’.  Even Archies!

I should perhaps explain a little of the background.  Archie and I have known each other for quite some time.  Going back to when I was a young boy and he an old man.  Since then we spent time together in the SAS where we were both very lucky to get out alive.  The unmentionable perils we had to put up with can not be repeated here, or indeed anywhere for fear of our lives.  The Gaseous Life Afflicting Death Year Syndrome is particularly worrying and will probably cause us nightmares for years to come.

Anyways.  I picked them up in town and hurled them to their accommodation before we headed back to ours for some grub and a few drinks.  The following day I picked them up and dropped them off at the Mount to have a wander about while I went to look at a pooter.  We then grabbed a coffee before heading out to McLaren Falls.

(Picture: Archie in a death-defying stunt)

(Picture: I will snap thee like a twig)

The wander around McLaren Park was enjoyable had it not been for the pesky Sand Flies that decided we were quite tasty.  I got bitten several times while taking this picture.

(Picture:  Ouch, ouch, click, snap)

  (Picture: One of the bites)

Hopefully Archies bites haven’t come up quite so bad.

After that I dropped them back at the Motel they were staying at.  That evening we had arranged to meet up for grub at the Crown & Badger.  When we went to pick them up we were greeted with a Lone Piper in the Motel Car Park.  One of the best greetings I have ever had in my life!  I am not too sure if the other residents thought the same though…

After our meal at the Crown & Badger we had an impromptu run-in with the Tauranga Pipe Band before heading back to ours via the Liquor Store.

(Picture: Archie “Blawin’ “)

Archie gave us a tune which I thoroughly enjoyed.  The pipes reverberate through the body and give the listener more of a feeling than any other instrument I know.

Couldn’t have been that bad, I seem to recall I even managed a peerie birl in da living room wie wan o me freends!

Next update sooner than this one took.  Hopefully.  Cheery bye.